event that took place last week. I was going to blog about it anyways, but I thought it would be fun to use hers because she described the situation perfectly. Don't worry, I have permission to use her words!
"The girls and I were DEFINATELY wedding crashers tonight. I've never experienced anything like a wedding crasher in real life, nor have I seen the movie Wedding Crashers, but we were legitimate intruders of a party tonight. Like, a major cultural party with family, friends, neighbors, and...US. We were "those people" who didn't fit.
Let me backtrack from the beginning, because apparently, that's where t
he whole issue started. We were told that our friend H'sana from TZ village was getting married today. We thought, "Wow, she's young (18 y.o), but that's normal in the village, right?" Ashley called, we were invited to the wedding, we borrowed fancy outfits for the event, we wrapped up a (re-gifted) gift for the couple, and we got dolled up with make-up and all (I even broke out the eye shadow for the first time in 6 months). H'sana told us to come at 5...awesome. We left at 4 to be there by 5. We had to drop a few bags off at another family's house, so we actually hung out with them for 2 hours as we waited for what was going to happen. Ziz's family is one of my favorites in TZ, and the wild girl twins are the neighbors. Needless to say, our two hour wait was full of culture and awe, but we eventually set on a carpet outside overlooking the house where the wedding was being prepared. Faith (one of the best friends of H'sana) kept updating us on where the bride was on her way from the city. She said she was on her way numerous times, but she really wasn't, apparently. Anyway...once all Ziz's family was ready, we headed down to the party house. HOWEVER, we changed our plan halfway down the hill because everyone was loading into cars to go out to the gravel road to meet the bride on her way to the village. Err...ok...let's go. So we go back to our car, drive out to join the rest of the guests and family, and proceed to wait on the dirt/gravel road for an hour and a half for the bride. (Yes, none of this is made up...I promise. And is goes from funny to MUCH more).
We can tell from the crowd that the bride is almost there. A car pulls up and we know these people are important, and no one changes what they are doing...but lo and behold, H'sana is walking towards us in a fancy blue dress with all her close friends/family with her who are all dressed up. We greet, kiss on both cheeks, and give our congratulations to her for many minutes...totally confused as to why the rest of the world is acting so "normal" since our bride is right here! Well well well...because a minute later, a decorated car pulls up honking it's horn and this is a girl inside the car dressed in a white gown with a veil on her head...you know, looking like a bride. WHAT??????? Everyone is excited, drums are beating, people are dancing, ladies are singing...it's party time. But...wait...whose wedding are we at???????? (We know the family, but not this bride). Thus begins our wedding crash.
Apparently the bride is H'sana's sister!!!!! Um...oops! We pile into the car and follow the wedding procession as 4 guys carry the bride on a covered throne of sorts. We contemplated turning the car around and leaving right then out of embarassment at that point, but know that Ziz's family will realize that we're gone and get upset (although in hindsight, that would have been our best idea!). Instead, we found a place to park our car for an easy getaway later...we've set our minds to leave no later than midnight. We go in, dance around with some of the guests (in the SAUNA of the house with all the guests movin' and shakin'). Then the party segregates into men out under a tent and the women and kids inside. We sit there for a while, then adventure outside but still near the house where it's cooler to talk to some friends. That was honestly my favorite part of the night.
After waiting for a bit for the first two groups of men to eat supper, the girls decide that we'll try to leave quietly before things start up again. We begin to say goodbye to Ziz and her girls, but that begins a cultural debate about how we need to stay all night...or see the bride after she changes into her next outfit...or stay until after we eat...or stay...AYE YAI YAI...!!!!! We get almost to the car when H'sana comes to find out what the issue is (since it's an issue now in the middle of all the quiet guests), then the bride's mom comes stormin' out to get onto us for trying to leave so early. It was a mess. An EMBARASSING mess. Then they bring us back into the middle of the outdoor area, bring out a table and chairs, and so now we are "those white girls who are eating before all the men are served, before the wedding party, before everyone else"....I was just wanted to duck my head and go, you know?! All of us did! I mean, we were eating with other guests practically surrounding us on all sides! PTL a few of the bride's friends joined us at our table, though! After eating a two course meal, Ashley made a bee-line for the car, and Erin and Carol got the message to head that way. Kimmy had no idea where they went, and I wasn't sure how to get us out of there because Faith was still trying to convince us to stay. Then H'sana came and added her convincing two cents. I lead Kimmy, Faith, and I towards the car and found the other girls ready and waiting!
I felt TERRIBLE, AWFUL, NO GOOD (like Alexander from the children's book) and totally culturally offensive. We'd got from dressed up, hot, and curious, to uncomfortable, tired of waiting, and anxious, to shocked and highly embarassed at our blunder, to intrusive and offensive! Of course we apologized profusely and told our friends that we had work/class in the morning (which really is true) and they sort of understood, but still...it was completely awkward and uncomfortable. We've giggled about our miscommunications and misunderstandings, but I really hope that our friends just gloss this incident over as the time us silly American girls failed at cultural etiquettes/ norms. And by golly...you all got to hear all about it! Yet another story to tell for years to come....sorry this email is so long, but I hope you got a kick out of our night. We made it home by 12:30 am (and the wedding won't be over until at least 6 am). I'm tellin' you...wedding crashers!
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